"The best gift he ever gave me"

A real story. A hard moment. An important reminder.

On December 23rd of this year, the father of a close friend — and valued team member — was involved in a sudden accident. He meant the world to her.

He was 82 years old, but sharp, healthy, and independent. In an instant, everything changed. The accident left him with a severe brain bleed and multiple fractures, and she was suddenly facing decisions no one ever wants to make.

This morning, I spoke with her. As she recounted the last few days, something stood out to me immediately — she wasn’t hysterical or angry. She was calm. Measured. And I couldn’t quite understand why.

In the work we do, we hear stories like this all the time. We speak with loved ones in the midst of grief, and we know everyone experiences loss differently. Still, there was a steadiness about her that felt unusual.

Then she said something that made it all click.

“Dad having done planning and having a healthcare directive was seriously the best gift he’s ever given me.”

And in that moment, I understood.

Her father had already made the hard decisions. He had already put his wishes into words. Because of that, she didn’t have to guess. She didn’t have to second-guess herself. She didn’t have to decide what he would want in the middle of her grief.

She said quietly, “It was okay. His last memory was walking his dog. He didn’t experience any pain. And I didn’t have to make that decision for him.”

Planning didn’t remove her grief — nothing could — but it removed guilt, fear, and uncertainty at the hardest possible moment.

This is exactly what we try to explain — to our clients, our friends, our family, even strangers we meet in passing. Planning isn’t for you. It’s for the people you love.

The next layer of grief

In the days following his passing, she’s now facing the next layer — the logistical side of grief.

She’s trying to locate his accounts. Figure out where his life insurance policies are. Track down the rest of his estate planning documents. In the middle of it all, she came across paperwork dating back to 1968. He kept a lot — just not all in one place. And there wasn’t a clear roadmap for his kids to follow.

Even though her dad had done planning, he didn’t have a complete Peace of Mind Plan.

There wasn’t a clear, updated asset inventory prepared with his attorney and maintained over time. She hadn’t received advocate letters explaining who to contact, what roles she might play, or where everything lived. His wishes existed — but the path to carry them out wasn’t fully mapped.

So while he spared her from making impossible medical decisions, she’s now navigating uncertainty at a time when clarity would matter most.

All of this is happening while she’s grieving.

This is the part families rarely talk about — the part that feels overwhelming not because it’s emotional, but because it’s confusing, time-consuming, and full of uncertainty.

And yet, because of the planning he did do, she was given one of the greatest gifts possible: clarity. Peace. Confidence. The ability to move through an unimaginable situation without carrying the weight of decisions that never should have been hers to make.

If you want to get started on a gift to your loved ones, schedule a 15 minute discovery call. It's free, it's quick, and it's the begining of getting your plan in place for those you love most.

Warmly,

Christie & Lindsay